What Are You Focussing On?

Are you glued to your phone swiping left and right on your Tinder app?

Are you you constantly analysing and reanalysing why a guy hasn’t asked you out or if the guy at work fancies you or not?

Are you practicing The Rules but feel like you’re getting nowhere?

Then perhaps you need to check what it is that you are focussing on.

Take stock – in relation to your love life where is your focus?

What do you do most of the time?

The reason I am asking you this is because a lot of problems might be solved by changing what you are focussing on.

The Rules are very specific and they are written like this because Ellen and Sherrie know that there is a temptation by us all to break them somewhere along the line.  They are constantly steering us to focus on taking positive action and avoid negative action.

My point is if you are spending all your time on Tinder and not going out to new places where single men frequent, or you spend all your time going to the same night clubs with the same people every week then you might need to change tactics a bit.

Before you can practice ‘The Rules’ you need to give yourself as many opportunities as possible for single men to meet you.  So this means pushing yourself to go to parties, events, meet new people, join a club, go to the gym as well as be on several online sites as well as apps.  This is a numbers game.  There’s a man out there for you but you might not have met him where you have previously been looking.

So what else have you been focussing on?

Have you been putting all your focus on one guy?

Is he dating you?

If he is are you spending all your time thinking about him and jump whenever your mobile phone goes?

If this is the case remember its important to be a ‘Creature Unlike Any Other’ (CUAO) and cultivate yourself and focus on developing yourself.  Do not make the man your sole focus – if anything this will be a turn off for him.  Sometimes a man may initially seem to love all the attention you give him – but this usually leads to any hope of a long term relationship fizzling out.

So, if you like a guy, do not make him your sole focus.  It doesn’t mean be ‘mean’ to him – remember a CUAO is a different breed – we are sweet and light!  This means having your own interests and hobbies.  If he’s the right guy he will find this adorable and intriguing – not to mention it helps to add mystery and chemistry when you cannot see him all the time because you have an acting class to go to or a musical you are going to with a ‘friend’.

So – have a think – write down in your journal today (if you haven’t got one already get one!  This is an essential tool for practicing The Rules and checking actions V your results – if you read my blogs you’ll know I highly recommend journaling).

Please post in the comments section below and let me know what you’ve been focussing on and whether this has been working for you or not and if not what you intend to focus on next.

If you would like more specific advice and / or an analysis of your current situation then please contact me for a Consultation (just click on the ‘Consultations’ tab for details).