Firstly, I would like to to say sorry for not blogging last week. As I mentioned in my first blog of the year (2016) – I am aiming to write one blog a week initially this year – however personal commitments took priority last weekend. I am focussing on progress versus perfection so here’s the last installment for my January!
This week in my bid to prepare us for our best Rulesy 2016 I would like to call upon *FlyLady for some inspiration.
For those of you who don’t know who FlyLady is and / or what it’s all about here’s her website: FlyLady
So I want to suggest to you to use a system based on FlyLady’s ‘Basic Weekly Plan’. This is to help us get into the habit of applying ‘The Rules’ (TR) on a day by day basis and to keep us going when motivation levels are low. You can just follow the ‘Rulesy Basic Weekly Plan’ and as FlyLady says “Jump in Where you Are”. The idea is that each day has a certain task / job / thing for you to do to keep you on track! FlyLady says not to worry about catching up, but to start where you are and on the day you’re on. So here’s my suggestion…
Monday: A new take on ‘Cyber Monday’. Respond to emails from men, ensuring you follow The Rules as you go. Ensure your internet dating sites are up to date and following ‘The Rules for Internet Dating’ and ‘The New Rules’ (Not Your Mother’s Rules (U.S. version). Ensure your social media sites are up to date (Rulesy photographs / no non-rulesy posts etc…) and compliant with ‘The Rules’ (reference ‘The New Rules’).
Tuesday: ‘Get inspired’ by reading ‘The Rules’ books, watching ‘The Rules’ videos on the internet and reading Rulesy blogs and social media sites.
Wednesday: Last Night to Accept Dates for Saturday Night. Start thinking about a ‘Plan B’ that you can book tomorrow evening if you do not get a date for Saturday night.
Thursday: If you have a date for Saturday Night then plan your outfit and write a list of anything you have to do to prepare for the date and when you’re going to do it (tonight, tomorrow and Saturday daytime) e.g. re-read a chapter(s) of The Rules relevant to your stage of dating, personal grooming, get your hair cut etc… If you have no date for Saturday Night then make plans to take a social action Saturday Night.
Friday: 6 pm Deadzone begins. Complete your list of things to do for tomorrow in preparation for tomorrow night!
Saturday: Date Night / Social Action Night (Deadzone continues).
Sunday: 6 pm Deadzone ends. Review of last week: Ask yourself: How did I do following ‘The Rules’ last week? Read your Rules journal for last week. Write at least one sentence of how you did for the whole week and write down your main goal for the week coming.
I would suggest adding in the following Rulesy activities to the most suitable days of the week for you:
- taking more social actions where single men frequent (for example you can commit to two or three social actions versus one per week and choose the best nights for you),
- attending a Rules Support group (in person or online),
- exercising regularly – at a gym or a physical activity you enjoy such as running group, climbing, swimming, tennis etc…,
- taking a course.
In general make a life for yourself so that you are mentally, emotionally and physically fulfilled and not reliant on a man to make your life full. This will make you more attractive because it will increase your confidence and you will be less needy and more independent. Also, a top tip is to make sure you focus on the activity and spending time with the people you are with – this is versus looking around for your new potential Mr Right. Ellen and Sherrie (E & S) say “Don’t look anxiously around for ‘The One’. That is certain to make anyone look the other way. There is nothing attractive about anxiety.” (Fein & Schneider, 2013)
Remember, to increase your chances of meeting Mr Right it’s best to take as many social actions as possible. If you can fit in more social actions during the week then add them to your ‘Rulesy Basic Weekly Plan’.
Another tip is to ensure that the activities you do are conducted in places where single men frequent – dating and finding Mr Right is about applying and living ‘The Rules’ and it also a ‘numbers game’. Unfortunately, you may have to kiss a number of frogs, weeding as you go – until you find your Prince! So make the most of your activities – even going to the Laundrette could be an opportunity to meet Mr Right and whilst you’re there you could spend some time on your internet dating apps / sites!
Rules girls with boyfriends and married Rules girls – you can use this system too to stay on track with TR or ‘The Rules for Marriage’ (TRFM). Adjust the ‘Rulesy Basic Weekly Plan’ for yourself – remember not to become complacent! TRFM tell us to keep taking care of ourselves, looking good, feeling good and taking time for ourselves!
Wishing you your most Rulesy year in 2016 with all the spoils of a loving Mr Right!
*I am not affiliated to FlyLady – I just love FlyLady’s system and what she does for women all over the planet!