Smart Feet

Ellen Fein really inspired me when she talked about ‘Smart Feet’ in one of the seminars Ellen and Sherrie (E & S) did, which I listened to on a CD I bought from their website. I am a Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Master Practitioner and this really spoke to me. Whilst studying NLP I discovered that I can become overwhelmed when looking at the ‘Big Picture’ because I am a details person. Whilst it helps me to know the ‘Big Picture’ I also think about all the details of all the things I have to do to achieve the ‘Big Picture’. I found that breaking things down into small manageable steps for me was the way to mobilise myself and feel better. I could focus on one thing at a time and not worry as much about the rest.

When Ellen spoke about ‘Smart Feet’ she explained that she would just follow ‘The Rules’ (TR) – she wouldn’t look left or right, she would just look straight ahead, put one foot in front of the other and use her ‘Smart Feet’, follow ‘The Rules’ and then things would just fall into place. She didn’t need to worry about this or that. I love this metaphor – and found it extremely helpful with ‘TR’.

In Dani Johnson’s book ‘First Steps to Wealth‘ (*you can download the e-book for free on her website) she talks of “four things changed my life and they continue to shape my life” (Johnson, 2011). These four things are:

  1. No excuses.
  2. No Opinions and Suggestions.
  3. Follow Directions.
  4. Get Training.

Number three Dani explains “The sad thing is that most people are unteachable. Instead of following instructions and mastering what already has a proven track record, the person ends up with no results and says the system did not work.”

Ellen’s ‘Smart Feet’ also reminded me of Dani Johnson’s ‘Follow Directions’.

So if you are feeling unsure, you are having a tough time with ‘TR’ and / or overwhelmed, just follow ‘TR’ directions, use your ‘Smart Feet’ and put one foot in front of the other.

To finish up I couldn’t finish this blog without mentioning FlyLady – who of course tells us to take ‘baby steps’. If a baby falls over, the baby doesn’t give up, she puts one foot in front of the other and keeps attempting to walk. If you are just getting your Rules feet for the first time or if you’ve fallen over – don’t give up. Just take one baby step at a time!

Have a Happy Rulesy week!

Wishing you all the very best in love and life,

Debbie Sedgley Rules Coach

*I have no affiliation to Dani Johnson.

What Is It That’s Stopping You Following The Rules?

If you’re not following The Rules (TR), there’s a reason.

Often the reason is fear of what will happen / not happen and / or most likely what you are scared to lose if you follow The Rules.

So, take a minute to breath, take some time – maybe some quiet time alone, take some deep breaths and notice what emotions and feelings are coming up for you right now surrounding the particular rule or rules you’re having difficulty following.

Ask yourself some questions such as:

What rules am I struggling with most?

What is it that’s stopping me from following this rule right now?

What do I think are the possible outcomes of me following this rule?

Are they valid?

Have I managed to follow this rule before and what was the outcome?

What have other Rules girls experiences been?  (You could connect with other Rules girls online to find out if you’re not sure).

What do Ellen and Sherrie say will happen / can you expect?

Am I willing to experiment with this rule and record the outcome?

If not, why not?  – What is stopping me? – What can I do to get help with this?

You could journal these questions, read them out loud, share with a trusted Rules Girl, record yourself on a mobile app such as a video camera or audio recorder.  Find what works for you.

Now think about what action you could take to help you move in the direction of following this rule / rules.

If you feel safe to, please share in the comments section and / or on my Facebook page.



The Heart of the Matter

I’ve mentioned minimalism before and for those of you have have read my blog before I hope I don’t sound as those I’m harping on about it.

I really believe that my passion for minimalism was born – at least in part – from learning more about The Rules (TR) and from my coach Kim Evazians.

Kim Evazians teaches the fundamental principles of TR.  This really intrigued and inspired me.

The core principle for me being ‘the male energy pursues the female energy’.  As I mention in my previous blog: ‘The Rules’ (TR) Fundamentals

Kim also taught a fantastic class called ‘How To Make Time Stand Still’ which really delved much deeper into this fascinating subject matter.  (It was a prerequisite that you took Kim’s ‘Mission CUAO’ class – which is available via Kim’s previous website on audio digital download).  Contact Kim for more info, here’s the link to her current website: Kim Dating Coach

Underpinning the majority of TR you will find this core principle.  There are others which are closely linked in – such as boundary setting and ‘loving yourself’ which are also core elements of female energy.

The link I make with minimalism is that often we get caught-up in the details and when we strip things back to the core fundamental principles underpinning successful romantic relationships they always come back to respecting these principles or ‘laws of the universe’ as Kim coaches.

Minimalism is about removing the excess and / or picking out the few important things that really matter.  To me this is stripping things back to their core elements which leads me to mention the ‘Pareto Principle’ quoted by Wikipedia as:

“The Pareto principle (also known as the 80–20 rule, the law of the vital few, and the principle of factor sparsity)[1] states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.”

(Reference: Wikipedia. 2016. Pareto Principle. [Online]. [Accessed 02 April 2016]. Available from:

Baring this is mind, if we can learn the key factors that run throughout TR then we are more likely to be able to understand why TR sometimes seem challenging because they can appear counter current culture.  When we understand where the origins stem from everything begins to make sense.

This is why coaching and immersion were so important to me personally.  As I learned more these core elements appeared more apparent to me.  Focusing on one thing was also a critical factor for me – that one thing being ‘The Rules’.  Coaching also helped me as coaching acts like a mirror – it is hard to see the wood for the trees and coaching can offer a birds eye view – the bigger picture.

My point in emphasising this to you today is to say that – if you are having difficulties, if there’s a problem you’re struggling with, can you strip it back to the core elements?  Can you remove the excuses you tell yourself and get down to the parts you have been trying to avoid and why you’re avoiding them?  What is at the heart of the matter?  

Often it’s about taking a leap of faith to follow TR.  As you do they will unpick the confusion you have now.  TR – if you just follow them… will often strip things back for you and the key principles will begin to show their face.