‘The Rules’ (TR) taught me many important lessons, two very important ones to me personally were learning about the importance of boundaries (what mine are, how to set them and feel confident in setting them) and how to love myself (and by that I don’t mean egotistical love, but valuing and respecting myself).
Here’s some examples of boundaries TR taught me:
Not settling for just any behaviour and determining what was okay and what wasn’t and what action I would or would not take as a result.
What behaviour to expect from a Rules BF / husband to be (what makes a man husband material).
Not getting into a ‘Pretzel Brain Twist’ as a result of the above!
Knowing when a guy was interested or not and if not that he really wasn’t worth my time. It didn’t mean he was a bad guy just not the man I was going to marry.
Accepting people as they were / are and not trying to change them. Making peace with the world and knowing what’s real, what is now and living in the now.
Not wasting time on people or things that made me feel bad.
Focusing my energy on what I wanted more of.
I didn’t need to do everything for everyone or take responsibility for the actions of others or feel responsible for their behavior / actions / how they felt. Realising I couldn’t make others happy etc… That I’m responsible for my intention and my actions and that I cannot control the outcome and I cannot control what others think or do.
Here’s some examples of ‘How TR taught me to love myself’:
Loving those who love me: I began to appreciate more and more the people who treated me well, cared for and respected me versus people who would treat me mean, not call, only call on their terms. I gave the people who loved, respected and valued me more of my time and energy.
I learned how to trust myself and what behaviour / actions I expected from others and that I didn’t need to give my time and energy to those who didn’t.
I took time for myself, I learnt to love and respect myself more and this meant I was able to open my heart to love and respect others and their boundaries and accept them as they were / are.