When it comes to doing ‘The Rules’ the easy way to know if you’re following them correctly is to do less.
Sherrie says always do less than he does.
Here’s a list of things to do less of:
Gift giving (rarely)
Pay on dates
And Sherrie says always do everything back versus initiate. And then always do less back too!
Men thrive on challenge, they love the chase and excitement. Even if they say they don’t – watch what they do! Perhaps the guy you like isn’t initiating – unfortunately you’re probably not his type. When a man really likes a woman, even if he is usually ‘shy’, he will find a way to talk to you, make you laugh and ask you out. When a man is attracted to someone you’ll know about it. If you initiate and he thinks you’re attractive and can have a little fun with you or is flattered by your attention then he may sleep with you. He may take you for a few dates or chat to you for ages but it will likely fizzle out pretty quickly.
If you’re following ‘The Rules’ you wait for him to talk to you first and initiate, you talk back to him but talk less than he does. After all, he has to make the effort to impress you. You are a CUAO! Men want a challenge and they want to work for your attention. They get bored easily by the girl who suddenly divulges her life story or who interrogates him with questions about whether he’s looking for marriage and kids! (If you want to see him bolt out the door then do the latter!)
If he texts, you text back but you don’t initiate and you only text back at the appropriate time (refer to the text back chart in the latest rules book – ‘Not Your Mother’s Rules’ in the US, AKA ‘The New Rules’ in the UK.) And you text less than he does.
Generally we don’t give guys cards or gifts – even if he gives them to you all the time. You can give him a simple card for his birthday. Don’t sign it “with love” – this can be enough to scare a guy. If in doubt don’t even get a card, your company is enough!
Don’t pay on dates. If he asks to split the bill then do but this guy will likely always be bartering with you over something. This may seem like an equality issue and I totally understand where you’re coming from. But this is not actually about the money. It is about the effort this guy is making and his wish to spoil you. Allow him to pay. He doesn’t have to take you to the most expensive restaurant in town, it’s not about how much, it’s about the effort he makes to give you a nice experience. As a side note, notice the effort he makes, be grateful and say thank you on the date and do not complain if things go wrong. You can read more on my blog about why not to go Dutch on a date.
Don’t sleep with a guy too soon, avoid too much kissing in the beginning (it often leads to more!) and with other sexual acts – not too much too soon. Less is definitely more here. Guys will usually want to move fast in a relationship at the beginning and often in the bedroom. It’s down to you to pace the relationship and the first three months are the most important. They often set the tone for the rest of the relationship. If you give too much too soon often guys will lose interest and pull away.
Avoid too much alcohol. Make drinks less potent and longer by adding a mixer. Have a non-alcoholic drink in-between drinks. Limit your consumption or avoid altogether if one is never enough. E&S say alcohol makes you messy and stupid and it makes it difficult to follow TR. Just think of a night(s) you regret and hopefully this’ll help you to avoid getting drunk!
Doing less is not always easy. Oftentimes it takes effort to restrain yourself when you want to chat endlessly to the guy who just starting talking to you. It takes effort not to text back a guy you like immediately and tell him every tiny detail of what you’ve been doing. It takes effort not to drink too much and end up sleeping with him too soon. Your efforts will be rewarded when you meet Mr Right!
#Lessismore #Rulesgirls #Therules #Dating #Debbiesedgley #Debbiesedgleyrulescoach