Do you think you could be holding yourself back to avoid being hurt? You’ve been hurt in the past and the fear of allowing someone into your life, becoming close to you and being vulnerable with them scares you so much you keep everyone at a safe distance.
You stay in your comfort zone, you go out to the same places with the same friends. It’s going to be very hard to meet someone new if you don’t get out there and meet new people.
The Rules are not easy, far from it, they require you to show self restraint and take you out of your comfort zone. The reason for following The Rules is that they are a powerful formula for meeting your Mr Right.
Don’t use The Rules as an excuse not to meet guys. Perhaps you are painfully shy or dread guys talking to you. You’re scared you’ll do or say the wrong thing or that you’ll be hurt and rejected.
Stop pretzel brain twisting, overthinking and over analysing and just follow the book. I wrote a blog about this called ‘Smart Feet’ based on a tip from Ellen Fein.
Once you meet a guy you don’t need to worry. Allow him to do all the heavy lifting. You wait for him to initiate and you just respond. Be friendly when you do and if in doubt smile. Take a deep breath. If you’re nervous and he’s the one he will likely find this endearing. Sometimes it’s about letting go and allowing someone to pursue you.
I know it can feel uncomfortable to go out and meet new people, to go online and put up an online profile, to try new things in a new environment, but do you want to be comfortable and single or are you willing to step out of your comfort zone and find your Mr Right?!
Be brave and make an effort to go out and meet new people in person and online. The rewards will be well worth it – just think how wonderful it will be to meet and marry your Mr Right!
But it’s not just as simple as getting out there – if only that were the case. Are you also self sabotaging? Are you getting Rulesy dates but then finding fault with every man? I don’t mean that you should settle – but often times if we’re scared of letting someone into our world we’ll find reasons to keep them at a distance. Are you nitpicking? This takes a lot more self awareness and self exploration. If you’ve read my blogs before then you’ll probably know I recommend journalling your Rules journey. Keep a log of doubts and feelings surfacing daily. Even if you’re not going on dates.
I’d also highly recommend getting coaching. This may sound like a shameless plug but I honestly believe it because I got coaching! A lot of people who haven’t experienced coaching wonder – why bother when I can do it myself? But coaching offers a powerful source of reflection that is very hard to achieve by yourself – even with a journal.
Coaching acts like a mirror, you are able to see things about yourself that are difficult by yourself or maybe even with others who aren’t coaches. Coaching also offers you a new paradigm, a way of seeing things from a totally different perspective. I took the plunge and got regular Rules coaching with Kim Evazians – I’d recommend Kim’s amazing audios too, I have all of them and used full Immersion as my study technique. I saw so many dramatic changes in my personal and professional life that I was inspired to become Rules Coach myself. So I got coaching with Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider to become a certified Rules Coach. In addition to this I was also studying Neuro Linguistic Programming and became a Master Practitioner. This gave me a great deal of insight into various coaching methods as well as the vast world of NLP. If you’d like to find out more about coaching with me feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Question and Answer
Do you have a question for me about The Rules?
I will be doing a question and answer blog soon, so please send me your questions. You can post them here on my blog, on my FB page or you can send me a private message via my FB page or to my email email@example.com
Questions and answers will be displayed on my blog but will be kept anonymous.
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