Letting Go Of Unhealthy Relationships

In my previous blog ‘Letting Go’ I talked about letting go of physical possessions specifically relating to clothes and sentimental items. Clothes to ensure we only have items that make us look and feel good and sentimental items associated with ex partners that can keep us attached to the past and prevent us from moving on by acting as reminders.

In this blog I wish to look at relationships that we may need to let go of. Now this can be extremely challenging, especially if we’re in love with or have strong feelings for someone. But sometimes it’s necessary for our well-being and long term happiness. Some people are not good for us and create negativity and drama in our lives.

Have you been ‘seeing a guy’ for a while but you’re not sure where you stand and he treats you badly?
Are you with a guy you know is cheating on you?
Are you with a guy who lies and somehow makes you feel bad?
Are you with a guy who has drink and / or drug problems?
What about a guy who yells at you, pushes or hits you?

Remember Ellen and Sherrie tell us not to expect a man to change or try to change him. Sometimes it’s best to cut our losses and move on. You may love him very much despite what’s going on but you deserve to be happy and find your Mr Right who will treat you well!

I urge you not to put up with poor behaviour. Remember when you’re doing The Rules you are interviewing for your future husband. You become an observer, you take a step back and ask – is this guy marriage material? Rules Girls don’t waste time and we watch out for red flags (check ‘Buyer Beware’ chapters in The Rules). We don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t treat us well. We call ‘Next!’ and believe in the abundance of the universe!

For more blogs and tips from me visit my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/debbiesedgleyrulescoach/

Are you in an unhealthy relationship and not sure what to do? Have you got a difficult romantic problem and you don’t know which way to turn? Do you wonder how to apply The Rules to your specific situation? Have you had your heart broken one too many times and want to do things differently by following The Rules with the guidance of a Rules coach? Do you want to find your Mr Right and get married? I am certified as a Rules Book coach by the authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. I am also a certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner. I offer a 100% money back guarantee if you are not satisfied with coaching with me. Email me at debbiesedgley@gmail.com for more information or to enquire about my services. Your can also check out the services I offer here.

#therules #rulesgirls #therulesbook #rulescoach #debbiesedgley #lettinggo #lettinggoofunhealthyrelationships #buyerbeware #interviewingyourfuturehusband #next #believeinabundance #havefaith #trustinabundance #dontacceptpoorbehaviour

If you want Mr Right then leave him alone

This may sound counter-intuitive but when Mr Right turns up in your life that’s when you need to back off.

Don’t call him.

Don’t email him.

Don’t message him.

Don’t write him cards or letters.

Don’t hang around places you know he frequents.

Don’t talk about him to his friends or your mutual friends.

Don’t go on his social media sites.

This also goes for married Rules girls

Don’t bombard him when he / you get home from work.

Don’t call him at work unless it’s essential.

Don’t nag him.

Don’t expect him to change things you knew about before you got married.

Don’t be demanding.

Don’t expect him to entertain you and have your own life and interests.

Instead be happy and busy!

Only respond to his communications and always respond with less.

So only message back, email back and always write less.

Don’t waste time on chitty chatty conversations.

You are too busy living your life to waste time on a man who’s not going to ask you out!

Want more blogs and tips from me? I post my blog here every Monday at 7pm. I also post on Facebook three times per week – Monday (with a link to my blog), Wednesday and Friday at 7pm. My Facebook handle is @debbiesedgleyrulescoach

Do you want to find your Mr Right and get married? Have you got a difficult romantic problem and you don’t know which way to turn? Do you wonder how to apply The Rules to your specific situation? Have you had your heart broken one too many times and want to do things differently by following The Rules with the guidance of a Rules coach? I am certified as a Rules Book coach by the authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. I am also a certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner. I offer a 100% money back guarantee if you are not satisfied with coaching with me. Email me at debbiesedgley@gmail.com for more information or to enquire about my services. Your can also check out the services I offer here.

#therules #rulesgirls #therulesbook #rulescoach #debbiesedgley #leavehimalone #nocontact #haveyourownlife #disappearinbetweendates #behardtogetandeasytobewith

Is It Okay To Spy On Your Partner?

Great question on Heart London radio a couple of weeks ago asking “is it ok to spy on your partner?” (looking through their mobile phone / spying on their social media sites etc…)

This isn’t ok. When you love and trust your partner you don’t spy on them. Honestly think about how you would feel if your partner spied on you? This reeks of controlling behaviour. If you are possessive, jealous or insecure then you may feel a need to do this, but don’t, if your partner catches you it will cause arguments and tension. Instead address your own insecurities, self esteem and self worth. Sometimes you may be suspicious if you’ve been cheated on before. Or perhaps you and your current partner had an affair and met that way. The latter often means you may always have trust issues with this person because you both cheated.

However, The Rules authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider do advise spying if you have legitimate reasons to believe your partner is cheating. But even then it’s very hard to prove and they will likely deny it if confronted. This quote falls under ‘Rule 38 Realise that Your Marriage Is Over If He Cheats Even Once’:

“The Rules for Marriage” by Ellen Fein, Sherrie Schneider –

“So if you suspect your husband is cheating, don’t waste your time asking him more than once. He will deny it until it is his last day on earth. Even women we know who claim to have married their childhood sweetheart/soul mate/best friend have told us that when they confronted their husbands with their suspicions, they denied, denied, denied. Don’t lower yourself by asking him predictable questions like ‘How could you do this to me?’ Don’t beg him to tell you the whole truth. He won’t. Either buy a book on cheating, hire a private investigator or get a copy of his outgoing mobile phone bills and credit card statements, and/or check his e-mails and see for yourself. Once you are convinced your husband has really cheated, not just flirted, you must decide whether to stay with him or not. It has become popular in recent years to ‘stand by your man,’ to believe that husbands who stray are sex addicts who can be rehabilitated with 12-step programmes and intensive therapy. It’s become trendy to ‘work things out’ and considered rash to ‘throw the bastard out’. We are not so sure about this. Call us rash or old-fashioned, but we believe that your marriage is over if he sexually cheats even once.”

And if it’s early days in your relationship and you think he’s cheated then get out now before you get further involved!

Want more blogs and tips from me? I post my blog here every Monday at 7pm. I also post on Facebook three times per week – Monday (with a link to my blog), Wednesday and Friday at 7pm. You can find a link to my Facebook page below, just scroll down this page 😀⬇️ (You don’t have to be a member of Facebook to view my page.)

Have you got a difficult romantic problem and you don’t know which way to turn? Do you wonder how to apply The Rules to your specific situation? Have you had your heart broken one too many times and want to do things differently by following The Rules with the guidance of a Rules coach? I am certified as a Rules Book coach by the authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. I am also a certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner. I offer a 100% money back guarantee if you are not satisfied with coaching with me. Email me at debbiesedgley@gmail.com for more information or to enquire about my services. Your can also check out the services I offer here.

#therules #rulesgirls #therulesbook #rulescoach #debbiesedgley #thisisheart #loveyourself #trustyourpartner #dontspywithoutlegitimatecause

Get Yourself Out There

An important lesson I learnt from reading The Complete Book of Rules years ago before I met my husband (over and over again until it was practically burned into my brain!) was to get out as often as I could to places where I could socialise with single guys.

I mean I went to everything I was invited to and I made plans with friends when there weren’t any invites. I went to the gym, on walks, out to bars, pubs and night clubs, to the shops etc… I got myself physically out of the house.

Internet dating was still somewhat in its infancy when I first learnt about The Rules (2001 – my very good friend who I lived with at the time introduced me to The Rules – she just couldn’t bear to witness the car crashes that were my love life!!!). So I didn’t use internet dating, but this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use it! My point in trying to get you out there is that you must increase your chances of meeting Mr Right at every single opportunity you can if you are serious about finding and marrying him. Optimise everything including going online. I would suggest being on multiple sites. You can perfect your Rulesy profile (make sure to follow the instructions carefully in The Rules for Online Dating! Remember Less is More!!!) on one key site like match.com and then copy the content to others. If you have to pay for sites then include these in your monthly budget! Again, if you’re serious about finding Mr Right then treat following The Rules like a job! You want to marry your Mr Right so take this seriously!

There’s no time to waste! Start socialising both on and offline now! You may have joined in with my recent poll on FB asking you about the number of times you go out to places where single men frequent? Ellen and Sherrie suggest three times per week as an optimal amount (once per week would be an absolute minimum but we want to increase your chances remember so how wise is this?) if you’re really serious and committed to meeting your Mr Right.

Want more blogs and tips from me? I post my blog here every Monday at 7pm. I also post on Facebook three times per week – Monday (with a link to my blog), Wednesday and Friday at 7pm. You can find a link to my Facebook page below, just scroll down this page 😀⬇️ (You don’t have to be a member of Facebook to view my page.)


Have you got a difficult romantic problem and you don’t know which way to turn? Do you wonder how to apply The Rules to your specific situation? Have you had your heart broken one too many times and want to do things differently by following The Rules with the guidance of a Rules coach? I am certified as a Rules Book coach by the authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. I am also a certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner. I offer a 100% money back guarantee if you are not satisfied with coaching with me. Email me at debbiesedgley@gmail.com for more information or to enquire about my services. Your can also check out the services I offer here.

#therules #rulesgirls #therulesbook #rulescoach #debbiesedgley #getyourselfoutthere #datingjustgotserious #takeyourlovelifeseriously #getgoingnowbothonandoffline #increaseyourodds

Is your phone addiction pushing away Mr Right?

Are you constantly glued to your phone? Do you have it near you at all times? Are you constantly checking your phone for messages? Do your notifications constantly distract you? Do you find yourself checking your guy’s social media streams? Do you find reasons (excuses) to contact him daily… maybe even several times a day… ?

If you find yourself with similar behaviour to the above then it may be time to put your phone away and unplug.

Initiating texts, messages, IM, email and calls is all Rules Breaking activity, but if you’re constantly glued to your phone then it’s hard not to be tempted to contact a guy you like / your boyfriend when your haven’t heard from him. So start putting your phone away at work, switch it off and only check it during your lunch break and when you get in from work. Have a designated spot for it at home and do your best only to check it periodically. Haven’t you got a life to live? Turn off your notifications and just check correspondence all at once and then leave it alone!

Another good reason not to get into the habit of being glued to your phone – you don’t want your guy to think this is what you do especially when you’re not messaging him back right away. Here’s a quote explaining why from “The New Rules: The dating dos and don’ts for the digital generation from the bestselling authors of The Rules” by Ellen Fein, Sherrie Schneider –

“When you are with him, we suggest leaving your phone in your bag and not holding it in your hand all night, so he doesn’t think you are glued to it. Don’t show any interest in your phone or become animated or giddy and say, “Oh my G-d my BFF just posted the funniest photo” when you get a text.”

So put your phone down, turn it off, give it to your flat mate, do whatever it takes so you don’t initiate communication with a guy period!

Want more blogs and tips from me? I post my blog here every Monday at 7pm. I also post on Facebook three times per week – Monday (with a link to my blog), Wednesday and Friday, all at 7pm. You can find a link to my Facebook page below, just scroll down this page 😀⬇️ (You don’t have to be a member of Facebook to view my page.)

Have you got a difficult romantic problem and you don’t know which way to turn? Do you wonder how to apply The Rules to your specific situation? Have you had your heart broken one too many times and want to do things differently by following The Rules with the guidance of a Rules coach? I am certified as a Rules Book coach by the authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. I am also a certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner. I offer a 100% money back guarantee if you are not satisfied with coaching with me. Email me at debbiesedgley@gmail.com for more information or to enquire about my services. Your can also check out the services I offer here.

#therules #rulesgirls #therulesbook #rulescoach #debbiesedgley #phoneaddiction #dontmessagehim #unplug #putyourphonedown #turnitoff #dowhateveryouneedtodojustdontcontacthim #areyouasocialmediastalker