How I made progress with ‘The Rules’

You may have read my blog about the ‘Immersion‘ technique I used to help me adopt Rulesy behaviours and help me to make them more automated – for them to become habitual. Now if you have been following me for some time you may also know that my strapline is ‘Rules Breaker turned Rules Coach’! The Rules are a set of behaviours that you can learn and master but it does take practice, effort, persistence and commitment because ultimately once you have mastered a rule you will notice it will change the way you think about things.

In his book “Bounce: The Myth of Talent and the Power of Practice” by Matthew Syed, British Table Tennis player, Olympian and Commonwealth Table Tennis Champion, he states that “Purposeful practice is about striving for what is just out of reach and not quite making it; it is about grappling with tasks beyond current limitations and falling short again and again. Excellence is about stepping outside the comfort zone, training with a spirit of endeavour, and accepting the inevitability of trials and tribulations. Progress is built, in effect, upon the foundations of necessary failure. That is the essential paradox of expert performance.”

Now I’m not saying you have to be a world class Rules girl, but my point in sharing this quote with you is to let you know that when I practiced ‘The Rules’ these two important factors that Matthew writes about – practice and purposeful practice (that challenges us beyond our comfort zone and usual limits) – were something that I did. I committed myself to development. I aimed to practice The Rules in all aspects of my life and I immersed myself in the subject. I practiced and I failed and I practiced and I improved. I didn’t give up, although at times I might have felt like I wanted to. Reading ‘The Rules’ books are not a magic pill (although reading them and referencing them regularly will tell you what to do to improve). It is sustained practice and doing what feels uncomfortable that will help you develop.

It’s worth examining what areas you’re struggling with and re-reading the books to see what things you can do to challenge yourself. What areas have you been resisting? What can you do to improve and challenge yourself and take yourself outside of your current comfort zone?

Do you always go out to the same places?
Are you going out every week and more than once a week?
Have you taken up hobbies and activities regularly where you can meet single men?
Are you online dating?
Do you make an effort with your appearance?

A way to notice how you are progressing is looking at your results. Keeping a journal can be a great way to notice gradual improvements that you might’ve taken for granted. Make sure to note your improvements and value changes you are making.

For more blogs and tips from me visit my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/debbiesedgleyrulescoach/

You can also find me on Instagram: @debbiesedgleyrulescoach

Have you got a difficult romantic problem and you don’t know which way to turn? Do you wonder how to apply The Rules to your specific situation? Have you had your heart broken one too many times and want to do things differently by following The Rules with the guidance of a Rules coach? I am certified as a Rules Book coach by the authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. I am also an INLPA certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner. I offer a 100% money back guarantee if you are not satisfied with coaching with me. Email me at debbiesedgley@gmail.com for more information or to enquire about my services. Your can also check out the services I offer here.

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“Don’t Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him”

“Rule 23 Don’t Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him” from “The Complete Book of Rules: Time tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr. Right” by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider.

This is such a great rule IMO and one that applies not only to men but to all people. Accepting people as they are right now and realising they are not going to change can help us to avoid years of heart ache. It doesn’t mean that people cannot change, people do, but only if they want to and even if they have good intentions to change for the better they may not.

It’s actually a very ethical and moral way to date and live your life. By following this rule you accept people for who they are and don’t force your opinion of what you think they “should” do or be on them.

Many people fall in love with someone and hope they’ll change this or that about a person. They’ll hope addicts stop being addicts and think that their love should or will be motivation enough for their partner to stop whatever addictive behaviour they have. Please be aware that most addictions are considered mental health conditions and even when the addict has strong convictions to change themselves they may likely lapse throughout their lives because addictions do not go away, they are managed.

The same goes for wishing your partner earnt more money, would get a job or didn’t fulfill their potential. If you try to push them, nag or coerce they may end up resenting you and / or you may push them away.

So if you realise you have been waiting for your partner to change then please take some time to consider if you want a relationship with them as they are now. If you don’t then it may be best to move on or you may both end up unhappy.

For more blogs and tips from me visit my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/debbiesedgleyrulescoach/

You can also find me on Instagram: @debbiesedgleyrulescoach

Have you got a difficult romantic problem and you don’t know which way to turn? Do you wonder how to apply The Rules to your specific situation? Have you had your heart broken one too many times and want to do things differently by following The Rules with the guidance of a Rules coach? I am certified as a Rules Book coach by the authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. I am also an INLPA certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner. I offer a 100% money back guarantee if you are not satisfied with coaching with me. Email me at debbiesedgley@gmail.com for more information or to enquire about my services. Your can also check out the services I offer here.

#therules #rulesgirls #therulesbook #rulescoach #debbiesedgley #mrright #timetestedsecrets #shellen #feinandschneider #dating #love #dontexpectamantochange #donttrytochangehim