Four Reasons Rules Girls Do Not Accept Last Minute Dates Or Guys Who Disappear (Ghosting)

1. Last minute dates mean he’s last minute about you. You may not have been his first choice, other women he’s dated may have accepted last minute dates or he may become ambivalent about you when things are too easy. To avoid attracting guys who aren’t serious about you, politely turn down dates who do not put you first and book you in advance. Many men have come to expect last minute dates but if he’s the right guy he’ll soon figure out you’re an independent and busy woman and he has to book you ahead of time if he wants to see you. If he’s Mr Right he will feel like he may miss out on you if he doesn’t ask you out early enough.

2. If a guy ghosts he may be leading a double life. Unfortunately some men do lead double lives, there are men who are already married with a family. Or it could be that your his back up plan and he only dates you when there’s no one else on the scene. When a guy ghosts it time for you to move on.

3. You can date last minute but you will likely end up getting involved with someone who isn’t serious about you, becoming too involved, attached and wasting your time, energy and effort on a relationship that likely would’ve been better off not starting. Rules Girls don’t waste time on guys who aren’t serious about them. We move on and go on another date. Don’t be a guy’s back up plan. Only accept dates booked at least three days in advance and it must be a Saturday night date especially in the first three months (this is with the exception of a date zero).

4. Dating someone who ghosts for long periods is seriously risky because there’s a reason he disappeared. A guy who’s serious about you, has good intentions and wants to marry you would not disappear for a long period without explanation. He couldn’t bear to be apart from you for any length of time.

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Why it’s best to date several guys if you’re not exclusive

Oftentimes many women who are dating get ‘hooked’ on a one guy in particular. If you’ve read ‘The Rules’ (TR) you’ll know that Ellen and Sherrie say you should be going on lots of dates with different guys. This is because you don’t want to make one man your sole focus. If you do then it’s more likely that you’ll become attached and be much more focused on him, when he calls or doesn’t call and you may even feel like you can’t stop thinking about him. If this is you then get online and get date zeros lined up. Get out of the house to activities, events and places where single guys go. Make sure your calendar is booked out so you don’t even have time to think about him (although I know you will still fit it in somewhere!).

It’s also important to keep dating several guys up until you’re in an exclusive relationship (he’s asked you to be his girlfriend and he’s serious about your future together) because it helps you to get to know the guys better and see how different men treat you. In my previous blog ‘Crème de la Crème’ I explained how TR are a rigourous process of elimination and they will weed out the guys you want to avoid such as time wasters, players and buyer bewares.

So if you’re not exclusive with a guy (he hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend) then make sure you are going on dates with other guys until you are.

For more blogs and tips from me visit my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/debbiesedgleyrulescoach/

You can also find me on Instagram: @debbiesedgleyrulescoach

Have you got a difficult romantic problem and you don’t know which way to turn? Do you wonder how to apply The Rules to your specific situation? Have you had your heart broken one too many times and want to do things differently by following The Rules with the guidance of a Rules coach? I am certified as a Rules Book coach by the authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. I am also an INLPA certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner. I offer a 100% money back guarantee if you are not satisfied with coaching with me. Email me at debbiesedgley@gmail.com for more information or to enquire about my services. You can also check out the services I offer here.

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Set Yourself A Challenge

Sometimes I find a good way to get myself moving on something is by setting myself a challenge. This can be applied when following ‘The Rules’ too. Are you feeling a bit down in the dumps because it feels like you’ve been single for ages and you haven’t met Mr Right yet? Or perhaps you’ve just been through a break up. Even if you feel your Rules journey is going well, setting yourself a challenge can be fun!

So now’s the time to set yourself one!! Here are some ideas for things you could do to set yourself a challenge following ‘The Rules’:

  • Organise three nights out this week where you can meet single guys (make it five if you already do this weekly! 😮😀).
  • Put up an online profile in one day if you’ve just broken up with someone or if you haven’t started online dating yet (if not why not?!!!)
  • Go out on your own and own it!
  • Buy yourself one new dating outfit on your next day off.
  • Find a Rules buddy online this week to help you both keep accountable.
  • Organise a girls weekend away if you’ve just been through a break up.
  • If you live somewhere more remote go to the nearest town or city for a week and book events each day and night to meet single guys.

So what could you challenge yourself to do? What have you found hard about ‘The Rules’? Look at where you could push yourself outside your comfort zone and set yourself a challenge! And remember my favourite NLP presupposition – “there is no failure only feedback.”

For more blogs and tips from me visit my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/debbiesedgleyrulescoach/

You can also find me on Instagram: @debbiesedgleyrulescoach

Have you got a difficult romantic problem and you don’t know which way to turn? Do you wonder how to apply The Rules to your specific situation? Have you had your heart broken one too many times and want to do things differently by following The Rules with the guidance of a Rules coach? I am certified as a Rules Book coach by the authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. I am also an INLPA certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner. I offer a 100% money back guarantee if you are not satisfied with coaching with me. Email me at debbiesedgley@gmail.com for more information or to enquire about my services. You can also check out the services I offer here.

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Making an Effort with your Appearance

You may think that I’m going to tell you that if you want to meet Mr Right then you need to look the best you can. Well that is true, just like an interview you want to look your best and present yourself well, but it doesn’t only help to attract Mr Right physically. Here’s another important reason to make an effort with your appearance.

A CUAO requires confidence or at least faking it until you make it! But here’s a key reason I make an effort with my appearance every single day even when I’m at home all day with my toddler. The reason is that showering, dressing myself nicely, putting on moisturiser, make up and doing my hair makes me feel good.

Two of my favourite authors and self help gurus recommend this: Marla Ciley AKA Fly Lady who calls it “getting dressed to lace up shoes” and Jennifer L Scott AKA The Daily Connoisseur calls it “looking presentable always”. I’m also a big fan of Corina Holden who runs Frump Fighters, creating outfit guides to help women maximise their wardrobes and their children’s wardrobes and Jamie McLaughlin , The Mac House, who runs online make up courses. Both are busy Mums running their own businesses who found getting dressed first thing in the morning helps them start their day right and they help other women do the same.

All four explain how this makes you feel so much better throughout the day. Fly Lady explains how this affects your mental state and how you approach your day. If you’re in your pyjamas or ‘indoor clothes’ all day you’re not going to want to do much and you may feel sluggish and apathetic. It has a knock on effect.

So as a CUAO you want to build up and nourish your self confidence and self esteem. This will then emanate out into the rest of your day and the people around you. You’ll want to make the effort to go out and get online and meet single guys. It may just put the spring in your step you need to attract Mr Right!

For more blogs and tips from me visit my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/debbiesedgleyrulescoach/

You can also find me on Instagram: @debbiesedgleyrulescoach

Have you got a difficult romantic problem and you don’t know which way to turn? Do you wonder how to apply The Rules to your specific situation? Have you had your heart broken one too many times and want to do things differently by following The Rules with the guidance of a Rules coach? I am certified as a Rules Book coach by the authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. I am also an INLPA certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner. I offer a 100% money back guarantee if you are not satisfied with coaching with me. Email me at debbiesedgley@gmail.com for more information or to enquire about my services. You can also check out the services I offer here.

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Please note I am not affiliated to any of the companies I have mentioned in this blog. Opinions are my own.

Ditch the Checklist

Oftentimes women will have a checklist of criteria they want their Mr Right to meet. Whilst it’s important that a guy isn’t displaying ‘Buyer Beware‘ type behaviour (substance abuse, bullying, physical violence, cheating etc… ) – this checklist can actually be unhelpful for your love life. I’m not saying you should accept any guy or be with a man that you’re just not attracted to. My point in suggesting abandoning the checklist is because you will likely rule out some really fantastic guys before you’ve even got a chance to get to know them.

The most important time to be extra strict when following The Rules is during the first three months (although this doesn’t mean you should slack off after then!). One of the important things you are doing is setting the tone for the relationship. When following The Rules you will be pacing the relationship by not accepting last minute dates and not seeing him too often. This gives you time to get to know him, know about him and get to know his personality and intentions. You’ll be observing his actions above all.

People tend to make snap judgements about people – their ‘first impression’ – within a matter of seconds, so do your best to get to know a guy.

So what are these checklist items I’m suggesting you ditch for now?
These could be only guys:

  • Older / younger than you,
  • Earning above a certain amount of money,
  • Who haven’t been married before,
  • That don’t have children,
  • Who look a certain way.

These are just some things that people may have on their checklists. But items like these could leave you blinkered and not open to opportunities to meet some really great guys and perhaps your Mr Right.

For more blogs and tips from me visit my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/debbiesedgleyrulescoach/

You can also find me on Instagram: @debbiesedgleyrulescoach

Have you got a difficult romantic problem and you don’t know which way to turn? Do you wonder how to apply The Rules to your specific situation? Have you had your heart broken one too many times and want to do things differently by following The Rules with the guidance of a Rules coach? I am certified as a Rules Book coach by the authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. I am also an INLPA certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner. I offer a 100% money back guarantee if you are not satisfied with coaching with me. Email me at debbiesedgley@gmail.com for more information or to enquire about my services. You can also check out the services I offer here.

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“Chart a Course” of action!

When you decide on a destination to sail to in a boat, you then chart a course. This is a essentially the path of travel you will take marked out on a map called a chart.

What is the destination you want to reach?

Do you want to get married and have children? Let’s start with getting married being your initial destination.

When we are on a reasonably long journey we will likely have checkpoints along the way. Let’s list what the checkpoints will likely be: dating and meeting nice single guys, having an exclusive boyfriend, getting engaged, buying the ring and setting the date, planning the wedding and getting married!

So let’s break this down further, what action steps do you need to take to meet and date nice single guys and attract a boyfriend who’s husband material.

  • Read all The Rules books and become so familiar with them you know them off by heart.
  • Go out to a social activity where single men frequent at least once a week, ideally three times a week. Make this part of your regular routine.
  • Start online dating.
  • Make an effort with your appearance and stay healthy.
  • Work on your personal development.
  • Work on your people skills.
  • Keep a ‘Rules’ journal.
  • Find at least one Rules minded friend – she could be an online buddy.

Keep breaking down the checkpoints into smaller steps that you do everyday such as read a chapter of The Rules, Google singles events in your area, create an online profile etc…

You can also decide on what Rules you need to focus on improving.

So why not set your course of action and plan how you’re going to reach your desired destination. Use your journal and map it out.

Bon voyage!

For more blogs and tips from me visit my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/debbiesedgleyrulescoach/

You can also find me on Instagram: @debbiesedgleyrulescoach

Have you got a difficult romantic problem and you don’t know which way to turn? Do you wonder how to apply The Rules to your specific situation? Have you had your heart broken one too many times and want to do things differently by following The Rules with the guidance of a Rules coach? I am certified as a Rules Book coach by the authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. I am also an INLPA certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner. I offer a 100% money back guarantee if you are not satisfied with coaching with me. Email me at debbiesedgley@gmail.com for more information or to enquire about my services. You can also check out the services I offer here.

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How I made progress with ‘The Rules’

You may have read my blog about the ‘Immersion‘ technique I used to help me adopt Rulesy behaviours and help me to make them more automated – for them to become habitual. Now if you have been following me for some time you may also know that my strapline is ‘Rules Breaker turned Rules Coach’! The Rules are a set of behaviours that you can learn and master but it does take practice, effort, persistence and commitment because ultimately once you have mastered a rule you will notice it will change the way you think about things.

In his book “Bounce: The Myth of Talent and the Power of Practice” by Matthew Syed, British Table Tennis player, Olympian and Commonwealth Table Tennis Champion, he states that “Purposeful practice is about striving for what is just out of reach and not quite making it; it is about grappling with tasks beyond current limitations and falling short again and again. Excellence is about stepping outside the comfort zone, training with a spirit of endeavour, and accepting the inevitability of trials and tribulations. Progress is built, in effect, upon the foundations of necessary failure. That is the essential paradox of expert performance.”

Now I’m not saying you have to be a world class Rules girl, but my point in sharing this quote with you is to let you know that when I practiced ‘The Rules’ these two important factors that Matthew writes about – practice and purposeful practice (that challenges us beyond our comfort zone and usual limits) – were something that I did. I committed myself to development. I aimed to practice The Rules in all aspects of my life and I immersed myself in the subject. I practiced and I failed and I practiced and I improved. I didn’t give up, although at times I might have felt like I wanted to. Reading ‘The Rules’ books are not a magic pill (although reading them and referencing them regularly will tell you what to do to improve). It is sustained practice and doing what feels uncomfortable that will help you develop.

It’s worth examining what areas you’re struggling with and re-reading the books to see what things you can do to challenge yourself. What areas have you been resisting? What can you do to improve and challenge yourself and take yourself outside of your current comfort zone?

Do you always go out to the same places?
Are you going out every week and more than once a week?
Have you taken up hobbies and activities regularly where you can meet single men?
Are you online dating?
Do you make an effort with your appearance?

A way to notice how you are progressing is looking at your results. Keeping a journal can be a great way to notice gradual improvements that you might’ve taken for granted. Make sure to note your improvements and value changes you are making.

For more blogs and tips from me visit my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/debbiesedgleyrulescoach/

You can also find me on Instagram: @debbiesedgleyrulescoach

Have you got a difficult romantic problem and you don’t know which way to turn? Do you wonder how to apply The Rules to your specific situation? Have you had your heart broken one too many times and want to do things differently by following The Rules with the guidance of a Rules coach? I am certified as a Rules Book coach by the authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. I am also an INLPA certified Neuro Linguistic Programming Master Practitioner. I offer a 100% money back guarantee if you are not satisfied with coaching with me. Email me at debbiesedgley@gmail.com for more information or to enquire about my services. Your can also check out the services I offer here.

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